confidence

by braveface

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1.
calendar. 02:25
You said that you'd call me back So I spent my Sunday night Constantly checking my phone Waiting for you to call me back I checked my calendar And it's been 4 long years I've been patiently waiting For the start of a new year How long have I been waiting? I think that it's been quite a while So I checked my phone again And it's all I did this Sunday night I checked my calendar And it's been 4 long years I've been patiently waiting For the start of a new year And I realized that you would never call me back
2.
It's Friday night and I have no idea what happened. Where did all my friends go? What happened? What have I been doing for all these wasted years, Spending my weekends shotgunning all of those beers? So many wasted tears. I guess I never really knew what friends were. I guess that's what made it so much harder. What have I been doing for all these wasted years, Spending my weekends shotgunning all of those beers? So many wasted years. Even though my breath smells like a thousand cigarettes, I feel like I'm living with a ton of regrets.
3.
skin. 02:46
I've never been so unsure. Why does this skin feel so uncomfortable to me? Like wearing that shirt my mom once brought for me that I never liked? There's one thing I need to say. I hate you. I hate you and everything that you made me. I started to mark up my skin with needles and ink and I dyed my hair. I wanted to cover up everything that I was ashamed to be. There's one thing I need to say. I hate you. I hate you and everything that you made me. You've taken my skin and wore it as your own. You said that my skin was a sanctuary for you.
4.
I just want to know if this is real, 'cause I feel like I've been dreaming a lot. The problem is I haven't been sleeping. Please, just help me go to bed. Please, just help me go to sleep. I've been too afraid to close my eyes. I'm scared that I'll just forget the way you look at me. So please, just sleep without me.
5.
Where did you go? You said you'd come right back. And I'm stuck here all alone, where you last left me. So where are you now? Just call out your name. I'm wanting to tell you that I need you here. I need you here. Where are you now? (I don't know) Where are you now? (Just call out your name)
6.
ghost. 04:58
I don't know how to tell you how I really feel, So you told me things that really frightened me. It felt like things were kind of paranormal. It felt like you were trying to scare me. You made me feel like a ghost And it's not even Halloween anymore. You barely know me, Yet you can see right through my cloak. I have so many words that I want to get out my mouth. My mind doesn't let my mouth move the way I want to. Maybe it's all the scary movies I'm watching, Because for some reason I still feel so scared. You made me feel like a ghost And it's not even Halloween anymore. You barely know me, Yet you can see right through my cloak. Maybe I am a ghost. Maybe I am a ghost. Maybe I am a ghost (I really hope that you stay. I didn't mean to scare you).
7.
Ever since I moved back home, My body hasn't quite adjusted. So I keep putting on this lonely jacket, In hopes that I feel warm again. I know that when I feel so cold, I miss you.
8.
drive. 02:41
I forgot how to drive my car. so I started to drive anyways. I haven't done this in quite a while. It feels like my eyes have been closed this entire time. You asked me to take you home. So I took the longest way I knew, of course. As soon as your walked through your door, I had already made up my mind about you. And I knew one thing for sure, That I didn't want to drive home alone. And I knew one thing for sure, That I didn't want to drive home without you.

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released October 17, 2019

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braveface Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Where I keep my sad boy musical ideas.

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